I am doing Project Life 365...you can check out my photos at www.scrappygirlsdailylife.blogspot.com!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Practically In The Middle Of The Street

Some of you may remember me posting about the group of ladies I used to get together with to make cards once a month. I couldn't figure out why all of a sudden I was not being invited and my Stampin' Up consultant was acting really chilly when I called to ask for a new catalog.



Last Thursday night after the parade of costumes in our little town I saw one of the girls and decided to finally ask what had happened.



I asked, "Do you have any idea what I might have done to "K"?" I told her I was hurt and worried I had done something to make her mad.



She kind of stuttered around at first and then her face totally changed and she got real, "It was your blog." What?! She said, "We had seen how you were talking about your MIL and were all worried you would talk about things we said about people." I think she even said something about how things get around our small town.



It is no secret on my blog that I had a very rough time with my MIL and still do from time to time. I used my blog to vent so I wouldn't start WWIII in our family. I am not sure how they could think "things would get around our small town" when on my blog I don't use my real name or location. Other than a family member or 2 she was the only one with my blog address. This is also the reason I know SHE had to tell the others about my posts...they don't read my blog.

I realized I was standing in the street and traffic had started to go through. I numbly walked back to Dr. Hubby's office. Then...I lost it. I did the "ugly cry." I was heart broken. Who do they think they are? I kept picturing them sitting around the table discussing how they need to "protect" themselves from me. I felt so betrayed.

I cried through the KFC drive thru...I cried when I called my mom and told her the story...I cried when Dr. Hubby and I were discussing it. Manga Dork was so mad. She had attended the workshops with me and felt betrayed by these ladies too. The next morning my eyes were so swollen, but I was past being sad...I was mad!

I had enjoyed the workshops so much. I thought these ladies were my friends. I had put my all into everything I created for our swaps. I had seen 4 of them out and about and had given them a big hug...genuinely happy to see them. I had even hugged the one in the middle of the street! They each made exscuses for why there had been no workshops. They had all talked to me like nothing had happened. Fake.

I am over it now. Knowing what I know now...you could not pay me to have anything to do with these women. They were not my friends. Their gossip is safe now that I am not there to post it on my blog that no one they know reads. I am sure I will be the topic of the next get together. Well, I hope they recognize how I stood up for myself...how I know things were twisted...how the only thing I posted about them on this blog was how I didn't know what I had done wrong to be excluded...how they handled things WRONG!

If they will throw me under the bus for such a stupid reason...it is only a matter of time before they pick someone else to go under there with me.

I am left with a dilemna. I do not want anymore of my words twisted. I actually don't want them to have access to anymore of my thoughts. I do not want to go private. Should this be the end of this blog? Should I take this opportunity to create a new blog...a new start? Do you think this is wimpy and I should just not care if they are reading it? Don't worry...I will take all my bloggy friends with me! I need your opinions! Help!

19 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Man, that sucks. I wish they would have talked to you directly.

I wouldn't take down the blog. BUT, I will say, that when you blog and vent about people in your life, you always run the risk of having someone you know find it. I have read many blog posts like yours, where people are shocked to find out someone is reading. The Internet is never completely anonymous.

Personally, in situations like this, I am always a fan of the high road. I think in this case, perhaps talking to them personally or sending an email, if you still cared about them, may have been a good option, rather than feed into their worries of you posting about them. Now they can say that they knew you would do something like this.

Hang in there, my friend. I'm sorry this happened.

Scrappy Girl said...

Thank you Kristina. I post the good, the bad, and the ugly. You are completely right. I post my feelings.

A new blog would give me the chance to create a "no negative" zone.

just call me jo said...

I've always erred on the side of stupid, so don't ask me. I tell it like I see it and then, like you, cry myself sick when I find out I stepped on toes. You will make the right decision for yourself. I'm useless, but whatever you do--take me with.

Julie Harward said...

Women like this are not worth your time or your tears! Please, leave them behind in the dust of that small town! Go forward and enjoy your life, find another outlet to enjoy the things you like to do. Small minded women never change..they love the gossip lane too much to change! ;D

Lyn said...

I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of being so important to shut this blog down or go private. You are who you are and we love you for that.

gigi said...

I'm just so sorry your feelings are hurt. You will know what to do about your blog. Do what makes you happy. It's your blog, remember that!
(((hugs)))

Vanessa said...

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

I think you should become a demonstrator and start your own swap group. And I know just the person you can sign up under :)

tammy said...

That stinks! I'm sorry. I don't understand how they would think you would ever blog about them. You only blog about your family life, and even if you did blog about them, I know you well enough that you wouldn't post anything negative about your friends. The thing I love most about blogging is the friendships I've made, and the support I find whenever I need it. It's sad that they don't realize the person you really are, and that they cut you off in such a childish manner.

M-Cat said...

If THIS blog makes you happy, is good for you and a nice outlet (and so many of us enjoy it) - I say keep it as is.

Never let anyone ELSE control YOUR happiness.

You are done with them. Wash your hands, dry them off, wish them well and move on your merry way knowing you are a fantastic person, who writes a fun and entertaining blog and are loved by others from all over the place, not just your little town.

*stepping off my soapbox*

xoxoxox

Kaci said...

I'm so sorry that has happened to you. I've been in similar situations because of my blog. Funny though they only involve my mother in law...like why don't you include pictures of us...why don't you include this story that involves us...on and on. I simply tell them this is MY blog, I choose the content, I choose the pictures, deal with it. If you don't like it start your own blog. Period.

IF you do decide to go private or start another, please keep me updated! XOXO

Creative Mish said...

Scrappy.. Sorry what you're going through... Women are like that everywhere.. In small towns, work places, big cities. etc... We've all probably been affected by gossip at some point in our lives. You have done nothing wrong with your blog. Move on.. make new friends.. hang out with positive people... When I have my little stamping gatherings at my house... and the "work talk" starts...(most of us work together) I speak up and tell them... no talk about work or gossip.. you're more than welcome to talk about your kids, families etc.. it has to be positive... Everyone appreciates it and we end up enjoying the day.. I think you should keep your blog just like it is.

copsmom said...

I am the person that Scrappy met on the street and yes there are two sides to every story so here is mine. If you are a follower of this blog you have seen the mean and nasty things she has said about her in-laws and as Kristina said the internet is public and for all to read. I am also speaking for myself and no one else, I did not say this part as she added (that things get around our small town)I said if you would talk about your family like that we were worried about what you might say about us. I also did not stutter around I said yes it is your blog. You were surprised and I said its the way you talk about your in-laws not just your MIL and also asked you if your husband read your blog, guess you forgot that part. Also you did not suddenly realize that you were standing in the street with traffic because we walked to your husbands office together and I did see you out and about and spoke like nothing was wrong,trying not to hurt your feelings but I see that is the way you wanted it, you never asked what the problem was and when you did I gave you the truth as I thought was the right thing to do, you are the one who chose to air this in public and yes this is public..but I will not comment any further or visit your blog again but guess the saying "to treat others as you want to be treated" holds true for you as you belittle your in-laws and they have no defense.

Cherie said...

Oh man I would not give them another thought. You were right when you said those women were not your friends. Friends talk to each other - these women were unjustified.
I think you should keep on doing what you do on your blog. I have never seen you be mean or hateful to anyone - a little complaining about the MIL - heck who doesn't do that - ha ha.
Don't worry about them. You have friends here.

P.S. I will say that one thing I do not do is give my blog address out to everyone. I have worked with the same ladies for over a year and they do not know my blog address because I do not like to mix work with personal - even though these ladies are my friends and we go to movies and out to dinner etc...Be very selective who you give your blog address out to - make sure they are completely trusted.

Scrappy Girl said...

Cherie that is exactly what I do...now. I gave this address to her over a year ago. I had actually forgotten she had it. You live...you learn.

Emma's Mommy said...

Scrappy, I have read your blog for a couple of years but don't think I have ever commented. I have found your blog very entertaining and I love to see your scrappy posts and your pics of your sweet girls!!!

I had something similar happen to me a few years ago. Two people were talking about me via e-mail and they sent the e-mail out to a third person (by mistake). It got back to me and what was in the email was mean and very hurtful and untrue. I blogged about it, but never mentioned any names. Just a general mention to be careful what you say, what you type and who you say or type it to. These two people were furious! They couldn't believe that I would do that. They told EVERYONE!! If it hadn't been for them nobody would have known who I was talking about.

What I am trying to say is....it's your blog....say what you want!

And I noticed the "other party" commented on here. She is correct that there are two sides to every story, but the hurt one feels is very onesided and she should have been honest with you from the beginning instead of letting the group shut you out!

Enough said!!! Happy blogging Scrappy!!!!

DesertHen said...

Scrappy,

Dr. Seuss said it best,“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”

Never let anyone steal your happiness from you!

Now blog on baby! =) Love ya!

Scrappy Girl said...

You girls have made my day so much brighter. Thank you everyone for your sweet comments. This has been a very hurtful situation and I am so ready to put it far behind me.

Emma's Mommy...you made my day! Thanks for saying hello!

laterg8r said...

screw them - keep your blog and make shite up about em LOL :D

nah, don't worry about them, they aren't good peeps - i'm sure there are other SU demonstrators who'd be happy to have you in their group :D

Scrappy Girl said...

LOL

The SU consultant no longer sells. I am tempted to start selling.